Gunny here.

I’ve been watching you humans. I’ve been listening. Because really it’s all I have.

I’ve seen you humans snack. Some of you like pretzels. Some of those pretzels are really hard and crunchy. I’ve seen the little ones they’re about the size of my dewclaw. Hard and crunchy.

I like when my human shares pretzels with me.

I’ve also been watching you humans eat. You can do this weird thing with your tongue – like you can lick the outside of your teeth. I don’t know how you do it. Like, I can see you put your tongue on the outside of your molars.

My tongue doesn’t move like that. My tongue goes out. My tongue goes in. When I’m hot my tongue hangs out. When I’m thirsty my tongue makes a little cup and scoops of water into my mouth. But I can’t do that thing humans do with their tongues.

So maybe you humans can pick the pretzels off your teeth with your tongue after you eat them. But, like I just said, my tongue doesn’t work like that. Can’t get it done. I can’t pick food off the outside of my teeth with my tongue.

So if somebody tries to sell you a story about how eating hard crunchy pretzels (or kibble) will clean a dog’s teeth, I want you to think again. Think about what I just explained. My tongue can’t lick the pretzel off the outside of my teeth. So when I eat pretzels, or kibble, it stays on my teeth.

And since I don’t have opposable thumbs and can’t hold a toothbrush like I’ve seen you humans do, I rather chew/gnaw on an antler. It does a decent job cleaning my teeth. Makes a great sound, too.

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